It's Ghetto Until (insert white woman's name) Does It

As a black woman, I was raised to love and appreciate our culture. It was instilled in me at a young age before I even realized what I was witnessing. To our music, hairstyles, clothes, food, jewelry, and even our nails, I grew up knowing loving the things in our culture and never once was jealous of any other else's. But I was always aware that the things that I naturally gravitated to were not things that were found in European cultures and things that were not deemed ‘professional'.

I remember in high school I started getting longer acrylic nails and discovered that was my thing. At the time, your nails were not considered done unless they had designs all over them and that is exactly what I did. Although designs are not something that I prefer to get now, long nails are. I love the way my hands look with them and if a nail tech can body my shape then I am sold. I know that when I have longer nails I should prepare myself to receive comments from white counterparts about how long they are, how can I do anything with ‘those nails', how can you type with them, etc.? However, I find it very interesting that when they witness Kylie Jenner, Demi Lovato, or Katy Perry have long nails it suddenly becomes ok and a new trend.

The same goes for hair. Black women have been wearing extensions before people even know that extensions were a thing - from wigs, sew-ins, to quick weaves, lace closures, frontals, and now lace wigs. This has always been a thing for black women and I love that it is now more accepted and some of the negative connotations that black women have faced are slowing being removed. However, I find it very interesting that when the group of people that started hair weave have to be filtered in what styles they wear in order to not be considered ghetto. Kim K. can walk around with hot pink hair, Kylie has been seen with neon green and rainbow-colored hair, Christina Aguilar has had fire engine red ombre colored hair and there was never any negative connotation with these celebs. Magazines listed this as the new crave and something that we all should try. But when Keisha in our neighborhood tries any one of those options she is ghetto and should tone down her look to be more traditional and to me that is crazy! Me, Brittany Dunlap, who has been black her entire life must tone down things that our culture has created but a white woman is free to be herself without judgment? That doesn't even sound right and something that I refuse to accept.

I choose to still wear my nails long, I am currently sitting under a hooded dryer drying my extensions, plan to put on my large gold earrings tomorrow for work and I choose to be completely fine with any comments I may receive. It is 2018 and each day more and more people are gravitating to our culture because we represent so proudly and I plan to keep doing just that.

Love, Brown Girl

"Everybody wants to be black, until its time to be black" – Every black person in America

Happiness Series 102

For most of us, it is really easy to get caught up in the day-to-day that we forget to take a much-needed step back. Often times we let the stress from our 9 to 5 take over that we forget about some of the important things in life. I am not different than you and have been guilty of this myself but I am making an effort to change that and do things that will allow me to get closer to my dreams (even when I instantly resist it).

Currently, I am in Pigeon Forge, Tennessee in a cabin sitting on a balcony facing the breathtaking Great Smokey Mountains. I literally came up with 1000 reasons to not attend this trip like, ‘I don’t know all the people going’, ‘I’ve already been to the mountains’ or ‘it’s cheaper to just stay at home’ but I made the decision to come and take a moment to myself and away from the daily hustle. I find so much value in taking time away from your norm to regroup and reset. I made an effort to leave my work laptop at home and work on things that would put me at peace (like my brand). Reviewing my social media strategy, looking into potential topics to write, seeing what other successful bloggers have done, has brought me happiness and feels like I am a step closer to my goal. If you would have asked me a year ago would I have started this blog or would I even be so careful to let other into my thoughts – the immediate answer would have been no! But the amount of happiness that I get from knowing what my future can hold is unexplainable. The lesson in this story is that I took the time to sit down and think about what I love to do and here I am! I needed the time to regroup, sit, and think about that in order for me to get to get here.

Taking vacations or weekends away are not only critical for us to either find or realign our purpose, but it allows you time to relax and come back with this ‘I can take over the world’ mindset. Take the trip with your friends, enjoy the romantic get-a-way, or make the drive to visit family. There is so much value in taking the time to recharge outside of your element.

I know we are balling on a budget so your break does not have to be elaborate or expensive. Book a cabin trip with friends, go visit a college friend that doesn’t live in your city, book an Airbnb, get a cheap flight. There are ways to get-a-way without breaking the bank – it just takes effort and energy.

Love, Brown Girl

“Sometimes its time to get away from it all and experience things in a completely different way.” – Kim Mance

#BlackGirlMagic

I was having a conversation with my best friend and we were talking about her experience as a mixed female and how other black women treat her because of it. She explained to me her experiences in elementary school from teachers and cheerleading coaches to her current experience with her managers and co-workers. Although she is half white, she was raised, acts, and identify herself as a black woman. Honestly, I often times forget that she is half white because it has never been one instance that I felt that she wasn’t. It was sad that I knew exactly how true that was and how black women treat each other. I am not sure why or what’s the reason that some black women find it hard to uplift other black women. Obviously, I am not the only one who feels that way and is a reason why there is so much emphasis these days on women empowerment, especially empowerment for women of color. 

I was watching the BET Social Awards and heard that Amanda Seales was performing. Initially, I assumed that she was going to perform a song and was instantly intrigued by her poem. I was not excepting to see such an awesome performance regarding #blackgirlmagic. It was literally one that had me cheering after each statement, my arms covered in goosebumps and this overwhelming feeling of being inspired. I love what the moment is doing, and I want to make sure I am doing my part. Little things like supporting my friends in their endeavors, liking posts on IG, making an effort to attend events that people I know have, or posting content that is inspiring for us. 

Life is hard, jobs are stressful, people are going through difficult situations and we should not be another factor for people to worry about. As women, we need to be a support system for each other and provide encouragement to each other. We are the only ones that understand what we go through, what happens in our culture, how our relationships are, what goes on within black Twitter, and factors that affect our daily lives. We are the only ones that can provide perspective on what type nails we should get, what styles should be next, or what happened on BallerAlert – so why would we not what to help uplift each other? 

It’s not a hard task and its free so everyone can do it, so let’s make a conscious effort to support and elevate each other. We are already surpassing stats by earning more degrees than any other race, by owning businesses, being the highest purchaser of books, and so much more. Look at what we were able to do with H&M, just imagine what other things our buying power can do. It’s 2018 and I refuse to be the problem, I am determined to support people around me even, people I don’t even know and do whatever I can to promote the culture. I am going to see Black Panther this weekend, not because I love Marvel movies (I actually do not like movies that are unrealistic) but I will be there because it is important for us to support the culture and show others that our powers should not be underrated. 

We single-handedly have the power to take over whatever we want and we once we fully understand that, we are unstoppable. I have faith in us and I am so excited about what the future holds. In the words of Monique, “I love us for real”. 

Love, Brown Girl  

“Behind every successful woman is a tribe of other successful women who have her back.” -unknown

'It's Official, I'm Getting Old': Series 101

I have no idea what has happened, but within the past year, I have noticed that I am officially morphing into an old woman and I know I can’t be the only one. A lot of the things that I used to love or say that I would never give up – I am no longer interested in.

For instance, I swear all of a sudden, I cannot stand 50% of the rap music that is out. I have no idea what in the world they are talking about, what the point of the song is, or why it is even created in the first place. Don’t get me wrong, there are still some artists that I follow like J. Cole, Kendrick Lamar, Jay-Z, Travis Scott, Chance the Rapper, and a few others that I still listen to plus a few random (ratchet) songs that I like, but more and more I find myself hitting ‘next’ more than usual. Right now, my current artists that I have in heavy rotation are all R&B artists like SZA, H.E.R., dsvn, and Solange because I am finding that I can relate to almost every one of their songs and it speaks more to where I am right now.

Another great example of me turning into Granny Brittany would be that once the clock strikes 9:45 throughout the weekdays (and some weekends), an alarm goes off to tell me that it is time for bed. I literally will wrap up whatever I am doing to begin my night routine (the usual things like brushing teeth and washing my face) so that I can be in the bed by 10 pm at the latest. If you would’ve asked me 2 years ago if I would be this person, I would’ve never guessed it, but now I embrace the simple things that allow me to end my day correctly.

Growing older is a blessing and an adjustment at the same time. There is absolutely nothing wrong with the fact that my music preferences may change or that I want to be in bed settled at a reasonable time because that works for me. Evolving, changing, and reinventing yourself is a part of life and I chose to embrace it (and even joke about it) because it’s a blessing that I have been able to get to this point in life. I’m sure you have the things that have changed with time as you have gotten older and I hope that whatever they are, that they are making you a happier person.

Get older, find the things that help you smile, get some rest, laugh, joke, listen to good music, be around positive and motivating people, and be beautiful while doing it.

Love, Brown Girl

‘You can’t help getting older, but you don’t have to get old” – Unknown

Ok, So What's Next?

Now that my site is live, I have found myself asking “what’s next”? I am constantly thinking of what else I can do, what’s the next post I should create, or what can I do to make this work? – and I am sure you all have been guilty of that as well. Instead of celebrating the fact that something I worked on for a long time is now live, celebrating the love and support that I received from family and friends, or celebrating that I was able to do something my way and not let other people’s thoughts get in my head (like I usually do).

This year, I am working on living in the ‘right now’ and not letting the ‘what next’ take away from the moment. In today’s society, we are always thinking of what else we can do, how can we make things appear better than they are or comparing ourselves to others and I am determined to not let that get in my way. There may be a few sites/blogs tailored to us brown girls and they could be more experienced or have big things going on with them, but that has nothing to do with Love, Brown Girl. This is how I envisioned my site to be and what I wanted, so other blogs ideas, success, or events does not any impact on my vision and I am finally comfortable with that. 

We are all guilty of not living in the moment (which isn’t hard to do with social media) and questioning ourselves about what else can we do next? But we should really just live in the moment, enjoy what we’ve been able to accomplish now, and be fine with that. Not the easiest thing to practice, but I am determined that life is too short to worry about ‘what else’ and focus on what I have done today and right now.

Love, Brown Girl

“Life is the moment we’re living right now” – Paulo Coelho