As the big 3-0 approaches, I would be lying if I said I felt like where I am now is where I imagined I would be entering 30. I think for a lot of women, we assume that our lives would be in a different place when 30 approached. Some may have imagined that they would be either engaged or married, have a child or children, or be further along in their careers. I can’t say that I have not had those thoughts of my own. Seeing people around me accomplishing these things make you feel as if you’re behind on some sort of race. Almost makes you feel that you have been a failure or inadequate in some ways but recently, literally a few weeks ago I have been determined to change my mindset.
If you follow me on social media, you know that I recently went to Mexico to celebrate a friend’s 30th birthday. It was literally one of the best trips that I have been on. We laughed, ate, drank way too much, and really had a good time away from our own realities. That trip helped me in two major ways. The first big way was that it allowed me a moment to sit and reflect on the many blessings that I have. I have both of my parents alive that I can call at any time. I have a 1-year-old nephew that I enjoy seeing him change and grow. I own a house and can afford to do things that I want to do (like going on that trip). Overall, I am blessed. I like to remind myself, especially when I am complaining, that there are people praying to be in my spot and this trip allowed me to take a moment and reflect on that. The second big way is that I have the ability to change anything about myself that I did not like. If I don't like where things are in my career, change it. If I don't like the way that I look in some of those pics, hit the gym (which I am doing). If I feel that I need to take more time to focus on my blog and get back on it, make it happen. I don't know if it was the view, the environment, or the ability to unplug from everyday life - whatever it was, it worked and I am in the process of making all of those changes. Slowly, but one by one.
I have no idea why I formed this elaborate or grand idea of what I thought life would be like at 30. Maybe it was movies that I watched, books I’ve read, or society’s thoughts on women, but overall it simple was a fantasy. I may not be engaged, married, have kids, or run a marketing agency but I am right where I need to be. I am doing exactly what God determined I should be doing. I am living every day being the best person I can be to myself, family, and friends.
To all women who are like me approaching a big age milestone - I hope that you have faith that all things will work out for you in the end. I hope that you know have a moment like I did in Mexico to know that it doesn't matter what others may or may not have or that you have not hit your unrealistic expectations or that your friends are in a different space, what matters is that you are alive and still have the ability to make those things a reality, if you so choose. Take a moment to stop worrying about the future and focus on the now!
Love, Brown Girl
“When you turn 30, your life and your world view change. I remember feeling relieved - it was like I was seeing things in a deeper way.” -Carrie-Anne Moss