In today’s time (with social media) it is so easy to see what others are doing, whats new in their lives and what scandals surround celebs so its even easier to pick up other people’s energies - which is why we have to protect our own. I noticed that for myself after watching certain shows or interacting with certain people my mood would shift and my vibe would change. I wanted to take a step back and figure out why this may be the case. Most people, like myself, like to help others and are willing to do whatever it takes (within reason) to help. We often listen to their stories or experiences and immediately relate to it and put ourselves in their shoes; however, in doing that, there was a transfer in energy that occurred and now we are left feeling like that person. Their problems become ours and now our energy matches theirs.
Growing up in a non-traditional home, I often found myself being a chameleon. I became so good at adapting myself to any situation so that I would not allow myself to be a burden on anyone. If I felt the energy in the room was happy, I would be too, even if I didn’t quite feel that way. If people in the room were somber and quiet, then so was Brittany. That technique helped me growing up, but I didn’t realize that it would be detrimental as an adult. Mimicking the room would not allow me to be my authentic self and was causing me to pick up other’s energies and keep it with me. Letting friends failing relationships, work disagreements/changes, friends personal battles change how I felt or alter me was something that I could not afford to do any longer. Yes, I would continue to be supportive and lend a listening ear to their problems but I could no longer afford to carry that weight on me.
When walking into situations where I know my energy would be impacted, I would simply pray. Pray that God allows me to listen, offer advice (if asked), provide solutions and then let it go. It's in my nature to adapt people’s problem as my own and overextend myself to help. But I have learned to be ok with doing what I can. I told my friend once, “somethings are not meant for me to understand and I have to be comfortable with that” and that is truly how I have to be. It's not for me, you or anyone else to understand why people are always negative, why they make the choices that they make, or date the people that they do. It's my job to be a supportive person, lend a listening ear, and shake the vibe off once we're done.
Do what you feel you have to do to protect your energy like it's your money. Unfollow negative accounts on social media, listen to positive songs (a little Jill Scott, Brandy, India Arie, gospel, etc.), light some candles (because scents invoke positive vibes), burn sage or have a glass of wine. We all have our own problems/issues so there is no need to allow others to weigh us down.
Love, Brown Girl
"Become more aware of what's really worth your energy and what's not" - Brittany D. Dunlap