I can’t really explain it. Not sure where it came from or what caused it. But all of a sudden things that I used to care strongly about or couldn’t live without, simply don’t matter that much to me anymore. Things that I recall saying I would never give up, I gave up without hesitation. Maybe this is what people feel when they state they have ‘found themselves’ or maybe this is just a season but for right now I consider myself embarking on a new journey.
You probably think I may be going crazy (and you could be right) but if this is what crazy feels like, I am 100% good with that. Right now, I am focusing on things that matter and letting go of things that don’t. I am focusing on removing elements of my life that do not add value. For instance, ever since my 5th-grade social I have always had my nails done - I know, I started young. Of course, I have gone through periods where I took them off but for the most part, acrylic nails have been my thing. This past week I looked into how much I am spending on that and I was embarrassed. There are much more important things that I need to focus on other than what color my nails will be for the next 2 weeks. Under the same vein, I thought about how much I was spending on my hair each month and this was even worse than my nails. The list goes on and one from SiriusXM radio, having Netflix and cable, to eating out for almost every meal. It was simply out of control. So I made the decision to cut out things that will not continue to move me forward.
Not just financially have I made changes, I have also decided to reduce the amount of TV that I watch. I saw a post several weeks ago about how watching TV is one of the worst things for the mind. At the time I didn’t think too much of it until my cousin Jasmine came over to catch up. She asked me had I read several books that she recently finished and my answer to each book was no. I stopped to think about what was the last book that I read and it had been over a years ago. Reading has always been something that I enjoyed doing and I can’t believe that I allowed myself to get to a point where it was no longer apart of my routine.
Additionally, I made myself finally take a trip to the grocery store so that I can start cooking. Let's be clear, cooking is not something that I enjoy doing; however, once I am done I feel amazing about it. Nothing feels better than to know that your food was cooked correctly and most importantly under clean conditions. I have vowed to cook throughout the week and allow myself to have a break on the weekends. I can’t make promises on how long this will last, but at least I am heading in the right direction.
I didn’t say all of this to make you or anyone feel bad for having SiriusXM or eating out daily but I said it to say that I have determined to live a more simple life. I have reduced the things that were not allowing me to be my greatest self whether that was financial, mental, or physical.
You may discover that you need to give up eating sweets at night, or you need a break from social media, or workout more or you may be like me and need to make some executive budget decisions. Whatever your choice is, do it so that you can be a better you. Don’t do the things that I did because that may not work for you and each of our journeys are different.
I have no idea what other changes in my life God has in store for me but honestly, I look forward to growing and glowing while doing so.
Love, Brown Girl
“If you always do what you always did, you will always get what you always got.” -Albert Einstein