Ever Just Wanted to Get Away?

As some may be aware, I recently lost my grandfather and I’m still dealing with the impact of that. Unlike most people my age, I was extremely close to my Grandparents. If I didn’t see them at least once I week, my week was off. They did so much for me growing up like ensuring we had the best Christmas’s (even once I became an adult), working to get my first job, my driving permit & license, teaching me to drive, buying my first laptop for college, countless motivation conversations, numerous accounts of them sliding me $20 just because, and the infinite amount of love. 

For that, I vowed that I would do whatever I could to help them as they got older. On Wednesday’s, I would go and sit with my Grandfather while my Grandmother went to choir rehearsal. On Sunday’s, I would go and sit with my Grandfather while Granny was at church.  If there was a grocery trip, nail/hair appointment or doctors appointment and I could take - I would, easily. Once we lost my Grandmother, I went in to go mode for my Grandfather. Every Saturday the nursing staff at his nursing home knew I was coming and knew that I didn’t play about him. I would check on medicine, his clothes and iron them if needed, ensure that he had his cigs (yes he still smoked), & that he was taken care of. I made sure I did whatever I could for them because they had that same energy for me. 

I said all that to show how much of a role they played in my day-to-day. How much they had an impact on my decisions. But now I’ve been questioning “what’s next”? What’s the next thing that I can do and focus my energy on? I’ve always wanted to pick up my life and relocate to another place, but I would never have done that knowing how my presence helped them. It would’ve felt like I betrayed them or just forgot about them and I could have never done that. But now, what’s my hold up? Yes, I’m in a relationship & I have family here - but I can’t shake this constant urge to just get up and leave. It feels like the universe is giving me all the signs to do so and I think I’m going to answer. Heaven only knows when, but I think the time is now for me to put forth the effort and step out on faith. 

I know that this is something that my Grandparents would want for me. I know that they would be proud of me for stepping out there and trying something new. I know that they’re in heaven pulling strings, making moves for me, and guarding & guiding me so I have nothing to fear. The lesson is for me to listen to God and the signs that he is showing me. To not fear the unknown and be willing to move forward on faith and not by sight. To force myself out of my comfort zone and live life a little. 

I hope by me sharing my story it will help you think about those things you’ve put off doing and go for the things that make you uncomfortable. Life’s too short to not try new things & go to places! 

Love, Brown Girl 

“What feels like the end is often the beginning” - Unknown 

Wonder What It Would Be Like To Be A White Woman

I know, interesting topic but I sometimes think, “what would it be like to be a white girl?” Let's be clear, I love everything about being black. My hair, these lips, this complexion, our music, our food, our shapes and our culture. But I have thought to myself what is it like to be a white girl in America. To wake up and be 100% of yourself all of the time. To be able to speak your mind and not have a label like aggressive or ‘too direct’ attached to you. To be able to wear any sort of outfit or hairstyle and be labeled unique or trendsetter and not ghetto. For me to wear my hair a certain style I have to explain how it happened, how long it took to do it, how the ‘hair is connected’ - I wonder what it would be like to just be. 

I wonder what it would be like to not have to tone yourself down so that what you’re saying is received. To have not had to force a smile or add unnecessary pleasantries to emails to ensure that I don’t come off too harsh (even when I need to be). What it would be like to have opportunities without even realizing it. Every position or role that I have ever worked, I had to earn it. I had to prove myself day in and day out that I am more than qualified for that role even when I have more experience and higher education than some of my white counterparts. 

I wonder what White Privilege feels like? To automatically to innocent then proven guilty - what a concept? I was watching the news yesterday and saw a video of this white women crying and hugging police after they were able to get her child out of a locked car. I was happy that the kid was safe considering it was 80+ degrees outside; however, I couldn’t help but think what if that was a black woman? Would I have made headlines in such a positive manner if I had locked my toddler in the car? Or would the headlines have been ‘Unfit mother locks a child in car’ with questions asking how it happened and what was I doing that resulted in it? I can almost bet that I would not have made national news and most certainly not in a positive light. 

Also, saw on the news a young bartender body slammed a white man for groping her. They praised her because sexual harassment has been an issue in their area and they were proud to see her standing up for herself. That made me think, ‘what if that was me?’ Would they have been so happy that I stood up for myself or would I have been too aggressive? Would I have been facing assault charges for doing the exact same thing she did because I am a black woman? 

You would think that in 2018, I wouldn’t even have to think about what it would be like to be a white woman in America but I do. I shouldn’t have to think about what a day-to-day experience as a white woman is like because it should be pretty close to mine. We should be able to speak our minds the same, we should be able to have the same opportunities, we should be able to get paid the same, have the same living conditions, and be able to be ourselves 100% of the time. Sad that today, that is not the case. 

For the record, this wasn’t a post to put white women down or to say that I want to be white, it was to simply explain how I feel and the thoughts that I have. Would love to hear your thoughts and start a conversation. 

Until next time. 

Love, Brown Girl 

“I think, part of it is, accepting that there is so much beauty in being black” - Tina Knowles 

Working Over 40 Hours a Week? Stop, It Could Cause Diabetes!

As I was driving home from work one afternoon, I saw an alert on my watch from an article from CNN titled “Hard-working women, go home earlier to avoid this disease”. Immediately I was curious as to what this could be discussing. Especially since I am guilty of staying at work late to finish things up and it doesn’t help that my team at work has gotten smaller while the workload has not. 

As I am scrolling through the article I saw the main message was “if women work fewer hours, it’ll lower their risk of diabetes.” Canadian researchers conducted a 12-year study that found that women who worked 45+ hours per week have a 63% greater risk of diabetes compared to those who worked between 35-40 hours. They considered if there were other factors like smoking, working out, or alcohol consumption but that only reduced the impact slightly. 

Interestingly enough, men who worked longer hours were not at risk. Throughout the study, it was not clear why there were differences between genders but it could have something to do with what with women do during our off time. For instance, when we're off we continue to do stressful tasks like taking care of children, cooking and cleaning, paying bills, etc. while men often can go home and relax. 

To top it off, even though we're working long hours we still are getting paid less than our male counterparts. So not only are we trying to work long hours like men, we are putting ourselves at a higher risk for diabetes and getting paid less.  

Being a female who has a family history in diabetes (literally almost every woman on my mom’s side has it) and being a person who has worked over 40 hours a week for as long as I can remember, this article really hit home for me. I need to really evaluate what’s important to me and figure out how I can live my best life! 

So the next time you think about staying late to finish a task, leave - it's not worth your health. 

Love, Brown Girl 

"Diabetes... Don't nobody got time for that" -Brittany D. Dunlap 

To read the full article, click here: https://www.cnn.com/2018/07/02/health/diabetes-long-hours-women-study/index.html

I Can’t Complain About My Plate When I Asked To Eat

Whew, I have been working my butt off lately. From taking on new roles at work (like another person’s full-time job), expanding into YouTube and making a conscious effort to be more connected with family & friends - I have gotten my butt kicked. As I think about all of the things and being overwhelmed, it made me think about something my grandmother used to say when I would complain about paying bills. “Be thankful that you could, because some people can’t” and that is what I remind myself often. There are people that wake up everyday wishing for the things that I complain about. Wishing that they had the means to get a site going. The resources to create a vlog. The friends and connections that I have made in order to make that happen. This was a reminder for me to know that all the things that I have on my plate right now are setting me up for a bigger goal. This is the season for me to put in the work and do the things to get my brand off the ground, in order to live out my dreams and live in my purpose. 

Last year, I had no idea what my calling was or what my next steps in life were going to be. So I am thankful that I got to a place where I know what makes me happy. I am so grateful that I am able to connect with so many people online and (hopefully) motivate them to live out their dreams and push forward. I would rather be overwhelmed with my plans for the future and consistently thinking about what’s next than to be somewhere trying to figure out what my purpose in life is. 

I understand the importance of getting rest and regrouping, but I do believe that seasons in our life are important. This season I am taking the necessary time to put in work to get important things done. I am not encouraging you to follow in my footsteps and ‘overwork’ yourself, but I am saying if you have the motivation to do something - do it. 

I’m writing this blog, planning the next YouTube video, thinking about work tasks that I need to complete, all while visiting with family. I have to keep moving and getting things done while I can. Tomorrow isn’t promised, so I need to make moves today & I hope that you do as well! 

Love, Brown Girl 

“The Secret Of Getting Things Done Is To Act” - Dante Alighieri  

Nope... Don't Really Need It!

I can’t really explain it. Not sure where it came from or what caused it. But all of a sudden things that I used to care strongly about or couldn’t live without, simply don’t matter that much to me anymore. Things that I recall saying I would never give up, I gave up without hesitation. Maybe this is what people feel when they state they have ‘found themselves’ or maybe this is just a season but for right now I consider myself embarking on a new journey. 

You probably think I may be going crazy (and you could be right) but if this is what crazy feels like, I am 100% good with that. Right now, I am focusing on things that matter and letting go of things that don’t. I am focusing on removing elements of my life that do not add value. For instance, ever since my 5th-grade social I have always had my nails done - I know, I started young. Of course, I have gone through periods where I took them off but for the most part,  acrylic nails have been my thing. This past week I looked into how much I am spending on that and I was embarrassed. There are much more important things that I need to focus on other than what color my nails will be for the next 2 weeks. Under the same vein, I thought about how much I was spending on my hair each month and this was even worse than my nails. The list goes on and one from SiriusXM radio, having Netflix and cable, to eating out for almost every meal. It was simply out of control. So I made the decision to cut out things that will not continue to move me forward. 

Not just financially have I made changes, I have also decided to reduce the amount of TV that I watch. I saw a post several weeks ago about how watching TV is one of the worst things for the mind. At the time I didn’t think too much of it until my cousin Jasmine came over to catch up. She asked me had I read several books that she recently finished and my answer to each book was no. I stopped to think about what was the last book that I read and it had been over a years ago. Reading has always been something that I enjoyed doing and I can’t believe that I allowed myself to get to a point where it was no longer apart of my routine. 

Additionally, I made myself finally take a trip to the grocery store so that I can start cooking. Let's be clear, cooking is not something that I enjoy doing; however, once I am done I feel amazing about it. Nothing feels better than to know that your food was cooked correctly and most importantly under clean conditions. I have vowed to cook throughout the week and allow myself to have a break on the weekends. I can’t make promises on how long this will last, but at least I am heading in the right direction. 

I didn’t say all of this to make you or anyone feel bad for having SiriusXM or eating out daily but I said it to say that I have determined to live a more simple life. I have reduced the things that were not allowing me to be my greatest self whether that was financial, mental, or physical. 
You may discover that you need to give up eating sweets at night, or you need a break from social media, or workout more or you may be like me and need to make some executive budget decisions. Whatever your choice is, do it so that you can be a better you. Don’t do the things that I did because that may not work for you and each of our journeys are different. 

I have no idea what other changes in my life God has in store for me but honestly, I look forward to growing and glowing while doing so. 

Love, Brown Girl 

“If you always do what you always did, you will always get what you always got.” -Albert Einstein